A difficult conversation.
For the last year I have been preparing myself for a conversation I will be having with my oldest child sometime in the not too distant future. I was in 3rd grade when I learned about the birds and the bees. I didn't learn from my parents or any of my 5 older siblings. I learned it at girls scouts. We had a meeting at one of the girl's house and there were a couple of Moms there and a nurse. I'm sure my parents gave permission for this to happen or I wouldn't have been there. I don't ever remember my mom having a conversation with me about sex other than it is for a husband and wife after they are married. Fortunately, by the time I was married (still a virgin) I'd had sex ed so many times and I picked up on conversations here and there by siblings and more experienced friends that I did not feel unprepared. But, looking back, I wish I could have talked to my mom more about "girl" things. Sure we talk a little about stuff today but it still feels a little awkward. It was just a different time and people didn't talk about those things.
We live in a time now where it seems you can't go a day with out hearing or seeing something related to sex. I don't want my daughter learning about these things from someone other than me. From the day she was born I have been preparing for this conversation by using the correct terms for anatomy. I think just saying the words is where most of the uncomfortableness comes from. I don't want to blush and I don't want her to either when I say penis or vagina. They are only parts of a body.
I'm not going to go into all the details of everything at this point. She is only 8 after all. But, I plan on teaching her about periods and why we have them. If she asks questions about other things I will answer them honestly. This will be a difficult conversation for me though. Not because of the subject matter per say but because it means my baby is growing up and I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet.
My daughter was 8 and wanted to know about the adds on tv for the pads and tampons etc I didn't want to lie, but I didn't want to scare her either. I tried to be as honest as I could without overloading her and she understood, but I knew when to stop. Visiting from mama kats xx
ReplyDeleteMy mom never told me, I found out at school from those horrible film strips. And everything else was from friends! I hope that someday when I have friends I'll tell them instead of them finding out from school.
ReplyDeleteStoppin by from Mama Kats
My talk happened when I was eight. Momma started gagging and puking, they went to the Doc's and came back telling me I was gonna have a sibling, and dad had a PAMPHLET! The talk happened within minutes.
ReplyDeleteJulie, thanks for not dropping me! On this topic we totally agree! My girl is only 3 so I have a week or two (being a bit sarcastic, it does seem to happen too fast.) I was in the 4th grade and all the girls in my class were sent to a movie with a health teacher. We got a little pamphlet to bring home. When I got home my mom said I could ask her any questions but it was clear the way she said it that she really hoped I would have none.
ReplyDeleteDo you think you can also have this conversation with my 8 year old son? At this point he seems pretty oblivious, but I'm still dreading it because I don't want him to be the last to know. And, his Dad's idea of a "talk" is something I can not allow to happen! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI actually have some really good books you can borrow, that the girls and I have read together and discussed, one of them is ideal for an 8yr old. I would get started on it sooner rather than later. by the time I spoke with the second one, she had already heard things and she was 8yrs..... Give me a call and when you borrow book 3 of the series you are reading; Remind me and I will let you look at and read the ones I am talking about! Good luck, its never easy, but when you go into it with a prayer and openess it all works out! talk to you later.
ReplyDeleteoh wow. i'm so not ready for that! (i think i have a few years to go, but still, can i dial you up for advice when it is time?)
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