Time Flies with Big Changes

Life has been happening so fast lately. I can't believe April is almost over and my kids only have 30 more days of school. In the last month some major decisions and changes have been made and planned for. Before I say what has been going on I need to preface a little.

The Doctor and I have been married for almost 11 years. All but one of those years one or both of us have been in school. That is the path we chose since The Doctor is well....a doctor. June 30th marks the last day of his medical residency and then we will finally be out in the real world. This is the first time it is up to us to decide where to live when we are done. Picking which medical school to attend was determined by which one out of two we got into would be cheapest. Then, where we did residency was decided by a "match". Well, now it is up to us.

We began by trying to determine what sort of lifestyle we wanted to live post schooling. We know we want to get back to a part of the country that has 4 distinct seasons with each one lasting longer than at least 2 weeks before it changed. We want to live in a place that is on average cooler than where we are. We love the cooler weather or at least having it cool down in the evenings. A place closer to family, not too close, but close enough we could still be involved in the big things. I would love to live on a small piece of land (bigger than a lot in a neighborhood) and have chickens or some other type of farm animal. We want to be close to mountains for camping, hiking, and fishing.

With these things in mind we knew we wanted to be back west. Last fall we started applying for jobs in Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Alaska, Idaho, and even Arizona (had to appease the parents). We received 2 job interviews (most of the others already filled positions or didn't have any openings) in Anchorage, Alaska. We were super excited about the prospect of living in AK. The interview with one of the groups went well, we got the job offer and signed the contract. For the last 5 months we have been making arrangements to move to AK. We bought plane tickets to go house hunting, reserved the moving truck, and sold quite a bit of furniture we didn't want to move. Things were moving along.

A couple of days after we got back from Spring break another physician that The Doctor had worked with during medical school called to say they had a position open up with their group and asked if we wanted to come out for an interview. The job is in Idaho and at first we completely wrote it off because we had already signed a contract with Alaska. And come on, who lives in Idaho? It is way more fun to tell people you are moving to ALASKA then it is to tell them you are moving to Idaho. The reactions to AK range from "are you crazy?" to "awesome, I'm coming to visit".

Well, after letting it simmer for a couple of days we decided to go ahead and head out to Idaho. We only had 2 full days there so we had to make it count. The Doctor spent the first day interviewing and touring the hospitals and surgery centers while I went out with a realtor to check out the area. I think I had a more fun day doing walk throughs on 10 houses. The next day we both went out with the Realtor to show The Doctor the 2 houses I had narrowed it down to (assuming we were to move there) as well as one more house that we found the night before driving around.

The third house (the one we found driving around) was the perfect house. I was in love. The Doctor also fell in love with the job. Sure it pays less than the one in AK but the cost of living is less. If we move to AK we would not be able to afford buying a house that would meet the needs of our large family. In Idaho though we could buy my dream house. The house I would want to live in the rest of my life. I was sold right then and there. The job has the types of cases The Doctor wants, good hours, and a great working environment.  The house is on 1.45 acres, has chickens, a garden, and fruit trees. Plus it is located at the end of a culdesac with neighbors that are members of the LDS faith like us. The small city is 6 hours away from our family which is much closer than if we were living in AK. Things seemed too good to be true.

Well, a couple of days after we got back we were given the job offer and decided to accept. We are still sad that we will not get to live in Alaska but, vacationing to Alaska could be better. We wouldn't have to deal with the dark winters. We are mourning the loss of the adventures we had planned in our minds of camping, fishing, and hunting moose and bear in Alaska. However, we feel Idaho would be a better situation for our family and they have pretty great fishing and camping there too.

So, the reason the blog has been lacking in posts is because we have been busy making some pretty big decisions. We are content with our decision and are so excited to be moving onto our next adventure.

wow this post was really long. If you stuck with it thanks.

Snow Day

I would never have thought I would have lived to see a snow day in south Texas. Hell really has froze over. It only snowed a 1/4 of an inch but it was the layer of ice beneath the snow that caused the problem. I guess there is no real need to have plows and sanding trucks when you only get measurable snow once every 20 years. Needless to say, my kids were thrilled to not have to go to school. The added bonus was The Doctor was post call so he got to spend the day playing with us.

Unfortunately I pulled my camera out only to realize the LCD screen had been busted and the thing won't take pictures. I believe my kids were using it to stand on to get a little taller. So, I had to take pics using my daughters camera which is not the best quality.

First we bundled up in our warmest clothing and took a picture to prove that we did actually have snow. See how my son isn't wearing a coat? Crazy head. He did put one on later.

One of the kids came up with the idea to have a snowball fight. That lasted as long as it took for one of them (Bubs I believe) to get hit in the neck (on the first throw). He came in crying about it being cold. The snowball fight was his idea too.

Na gave making a snow angel an honest try.

Then when the Doctor got home he made a little ramp at the bottom of our driveway. The kids took turns riding their tricycle over it. Then we pulled out and under bed storage bin and tried to sled. Didn't work out so well. But you know what does make a good sled? The huge city issued recycle bins. The Doctor took pics with his phone and they haven't been uploaded yet. But, picture flipping the big blue recycle bins on their sides with the wheels facing down. Hop on like you are riding a horse and you are good to go. The kids did that down our driveway for around 45 minutes. Great times.

I did burst Na's bubble though. We are moving to Alaska in June and I had to make sure my kids understood that this would probably be the only snow day they got in a really long time. When it snows in AK they don't cancel school. Na started crying and stomped up the stairs yelling "stupid Alaska. Stupid snow, I don't want to move."  She has been so excited about the move until this point. Hopefully when she sees they make ice rinks with the basketball courts on the playground she'll be happy again. Here is one more difference. When the weather is below 40 degrees F. here they make the kids stay inside for recess. In Alaska, when the weather reaches -10 degrees F. they cancel recess. I am definitely going to be spending some big money on winter weather accessories next fall.

Everything was of course melted by noon but it was great having an extra day to just play together.

Doing Gods Work

Things are always a little more crazy around my house in the summertime. With all 4 kids home there is more bickering and more whining and I get worn down quickly. But videos like this one give me the strength and the inspiration to continue doing my best. I love my children and I love being a mother and I'm so glad God saw me fit to be the mother of these 4 little angels.

The Importance of Having Fun as a Family

I get so wrapped up in the tasks of running a household (laundry, dishes, cooking, etc) that I forget to just take the time and have fun with my kids. A couple of years ago my nephews received a Nerf Dart Tag game for Christmas and my husband and I had so much fun playing with them that we went and got our own. I came across a box today that had the game in it and pulled it out. We only had 2 guns and with 5 of us able to play it just wasn't enough. So, we loaded up and went to the store and bought 4 more guns (an extra for when the baby is old enough). We got all dressed up in the Velcro vests, loaded our guns and just had fun shooting at each other and trying to dodge incoming bullets. It was great to spend time as a family laughing and having fun. Everyone was enjoying themselves. Because of this time together I feel like we created a great memory and strengthened our family ties.
I'm not saying you have to go get Nerf guns and shoot each other but find something that your family likes to do together and do it. It will bring your family closer together and create lasting memories. Plus, it's good for children to see their parents relax and have a little fun.

To All the Moms

This Mother's Day I will be thinking about my Mom. I'm so grateful to her and all the sacrifices she made that I didn't realize until I was a mother myself. I will also be thinking about all the other Mother's in the world who serve as an inspiration of motherhood to me.



Click here to read the Nie Nie Dialogues

Family Game Night

Looking for a way to connect with your family while having a good time? Try establishing a family game night. Family game nights are perfect for any family no matter what age your children are. Playing games allows you to make memories together. Looking back on most of my childhood memories they revolve around playing games together. Every time my family gets together to play games we frequently reminisce about things that were done and said during past games. Games are great ways to learn more about each other too. If you play a game like Zobmondo: Would You Rather you can see how your family members think.Games are a fantastic way to interact with your children and teach them at the same time. For young children Candy Land can help them learn to take turns and learn colors. Chutes and Ladders helps children learn to count as well as deal with the disappointment of the slide. For kids that are a little older, Battleship can teach some strategy. Who didn't learn about money and real estate by playing Monopoly?

My new favorite game is Ticken To Ride. It's fair to say I'm addicted to playing it online even though we have the actual board game too. If you want to know more about TTR Crystal's Cozy Kitchen does a great job of describing how to play the game.

The most important thing about a family game night is making sure everyone is having fun. Although it is nice to win, teach your children how to lose graciously. Young children have a hard time losing so help them understand that just because they lost one game doesn't mean they will lose them all.

The next time you are looking for something to do, stay home and pull out the games. By doing this you will create family bonds and memories that will last a lifetime.

Pennies for Penny

I'm keeping this post at the top for a while. To see newer posts just scroll down.

I hate when bad things happen especially when it happens to little children. My dear friend's 11 month old niece Penny was recently diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma. She has tumors in several places through out her tiny body. She has had several surgeries in the last few days and has started chemo therapy. I can't imagine having to go through this with one of my children.

Please, Please, Please say prayers for this Angel and her family.

The family has insurance but it doesn't cover everything. After just a few weeks of dealing with this the bills are already starting to pour in. You can follow her story here as well as make donations for her care.

I want to help spread the word about Pennies for Penny so I'm going to be holding a drawing for a free Scentsy Warmer of your choice. If you are not familiar with Scentsy you can view my website here or read a previous post here.

Here is what you need to do to enter.

1. Post the button for Pennies for Penny on your website and then come back here and leave a comment letting me know that you have done so as well as a link to your blog. If you have more than one site, you will receive one entry for every site you post it on. Just post a different comment here for each site. You can get the button by visiting Pennies for Penny



2. Create a post about Penny and come back here and leave a comment with the link to your post.
   
3. Sorry but this drawing is only open to those in the continental US. If you live outside of the US Please still post the button on your site and leave a comment here. I will come up with another fabulous prize for you.


4. All comments must be in by 10:00 PM CST March 31, 2010


5. I will pick the winner using a random number generator on April 1, 2010

Remember to pray for Penny and her family. Thanks.

Date Night at Home

Having a weekly date night with your spouse is important for building and supporting your marriage. Sometimes it isn't always feasible to go out for a date due to finances. For many families the cost of a babysitter is more than the cost of the date itself. If money is tight for your family then plan a date where you stay at home. Either send the kids to a friends house or plan your date for after the kids are in bed.

Make it a special night, not like any other night at home. If you are going to have dinner then make it a candle light dinner and use the good china and silverware. Order in or make a meal that you don't normally make (because the kids don't like it.)

If you are going to watch a movie don't watch it in bed. You might have one or both of you fall asleep and that isn't much of a date. Select a movie that you can both agree upon. Get some great snacks. You can purchase theatre size candy at most dollar stores these days. The nice thing about watching a movie at home is you can really snuggle in and be close together and just enjoy the comfort of each other which isn't easy to do in the movie theatre.

There is no excuse for not having a weekly date night. Be creative and have fun.

Penny's Media Blitz Update

Just wanted to give a huge thank you to everyone who participated in Penny's media blitz on Friday as well as those who visited Penny's4Penny.org. Her story was shared on the Channel 6 news in San Diego because of our efforts to spread the news. Penny has a treatable tumor and so she has a 95% chance of beating this cancer. It will be a long road so please continue to pray for Penny.
If you haven't had a chance and you would like to there is still time for you to enter my giveaway and help spread the word about Penny at the same time. Go here for more details.

Penny's Media Blitz

See this adorable little girl. This is Penny and currently she is fighting for her life. She was diagnosed 3 weeks ago with stage 4 Neuroblastoma. She has partial paralysis due to a tumor that has been pressing on her spine. They have done surgery to remove a good portion of the tumor and they are hoping she regains movement. As if this weren't enough, she has also been diagnosed with RSV.

Today over at Pennies 4 Penny they are having a media blitz. They are asking people to post on their blogs, tweet, and Face book about Penny. Please go here to get more details on what you can do to help Pennies 4 Penny. They are also going to be having an auction soon to help raise funds. If you have an item you can donate please contact them. They also want people to attend the auction to bid on items. You can find more details on their site as well.

A couple of years ago my oldest was in the hospital for 4 days and had to have surgery. This happened to be the one month we did not have surgery and did not qualify for any aide. The medical bills were around $50,000 and that did not include the ENT's bill. He was gracious enough to not charge us for his services. Penelope's family has insurance but it only covers 60% of the costs. They are already starting to receive bills for services rendered. Their insurance also doesn't cover the medicine she is being treated with. This family shouldn't have to worry about how they are going to pay for everything. Right now they need to be with there sweet baby. Please, if you are able to donate to their cause. Any amount helps. Donate for the auction. If you can't do any of those, please just spread the word about Penny.

Don't forget I'm doing a giveaway for you bloggers who place Penny's button on your blog, blog about Penny, or place her widget on your blog. Please go here to get more details.

A Good Cry

Today was one of those days where I just needed a good cry. I hold it together for so long and then eventually it all just pours out with no warning. The day started out good. The sunshine greeted me, the birds were singing. I was brave and took 3 of my kids with me to the mall. I haven't been to a mall in over a year but I had some pants I ordered online for #1 and they were too small so I needed to exchange them. Anyway, after a relatively easy trip to the mall we ventured to the book fair at the school. I let #2 and #3 each pick out something while I picked a book from the teacher wish list and a book for #1.
Lately #1 and I have been battling over books she reads. I want her to read age appropriate books (chapter books) and she wants to read board books and picture books. I know I should be happy she is reading but, I don't want her to fall behind either. So, when I was picking out a book for her I decided to get her 2. One book was slightly below her reading level but it was a Littlest Pet Shop book and she loves LPS. The other was a Barbie chapter book but it did have lots of pictures. I wrote a note that told her I loved her and I hope she was having a great day and slipped it into the books and left them on her desk for when she returned from lunch. I was happy that I did something nice for her and that I was going to be surprising her.
Well, she came in the house today and the first thing she said, in a very upset tone mind you, was "Mom, that Barbie book was not on my wish list. I didn't want that book." I was crushed. All I could think was "that ungrateful little brat." I started to cry right there in front of her. I told her I was sad that she didn't appreciate my gift and sent her upstairs because I was too sad to talk to her in that moment. This is not the first or the second time I have done something for this child as a surprise and have gotten this reaction. I'm not the only one she does this too either. Grandma brings her something grandma gets to hear about how it is not something she wants. I don't know why she behaves this way. She is not spoiled. She only gets gifts typically on her b-day and Christmas, that's it. She just can't handle surprises. So this experience already got me crying.
For the past month and a half my husband has been on a hard rotation at work. He leaves the house by 5 AM and hasn't been getting home until 7 PM or later. Then he comes home, eats dinner, and then goes to bed. I miss him, the kids miss him, and things just aren't the same. I've accepted that this is part of his job. Not like he can leave in the middle of a surgery. I get that but I still wish he were home more to help out with the kids. We have not been on a vacation since #1 was 18 months old. By vacation I mean a trip to anywhere that doesn't entail visiting family because of a wedding or other event. There are 2 reasons for this. 1. Time- residents do not get a lot of vacation time. 2. We are already living pay check to pay check so we can't save up for a trip. I just want a break from the routine. Well, when he came home tonight he informed me that he has been asked to go on a week long medical mission trip to Africa. It would be free for him to go. Oh wow! That would be amazing to go to Africa. Of course I want him to go. When else is he going to have another opportunity like this? But then, I think, sure, it is free for him but it will cost me. It will cost me a week with out him here. While he is gone to another country/continent seeing all sorts of new things, I'm left behind to hold down the fort. There have been so many times when I have wanted to go to conventions for various things but could not because I would have to arrange for care for the kids plus pay for all the travel expenses. Why is it he gets to go off and leave me behind? This will be the 3rd time he has left me for a medical mission trip. I know they are not all work. They get to play some. I guess the point I'm rambling on about and trying to get to is I'm jealous. I want a vacation. I'm overworked.
So, tonight I'm going to have a good cry. I'm going to eat some chocolate. I'm going to read Penelope's story and cry some more. But then I'm going to remember all the good things about today like the sweet kisses #4 gave me and the pictures #2 and #3 colored just for me. And, I will also remember the feeling I had when I was placing those books on my daughters desk. Love. I love my children and my husband. That is what allows me to hold things together as well as just cry.

Stages of Grief

If you haven’t already, you will experience the loss of a loved one. How you deal with this loss affects your life as well as those around you. By understanding the stages of grief you might better be able to cope with the loss or help others through their loss.

1. Shock and Denial- Because death usually comes suddenly you will be shocked with the news. You might be saying to yourself “I can’t believe it”. Denying the loss will provide temporary relief from the pain.

2. Pain and Guilt- When the initial shock wears off you will feel the pain of your loss. It’s okay to let yourself cry. Let it all out and feel it fully. Hiding it and holding it in will only prolong your recovery and your pain. It can lead to dangerous habits of drug and alcohol abuse too. During this stage you might also feel guilt over the things you didn’t do or things you did and wish you could change. Let it go. You can’t change the past; you can only look forward to the future.

3. Anger- This emotion often brings us out of the pain and guilt phase. It’s hard to feel anything else if you are angry. You may blame others or yourself for the death.

4. Depression- as the anger settles you may realize how great a loss you have suffered. This may lead to isolation. You will remember all that you had together. Although this is a normal stage of grief, if you find you or another loved one remain in this stage for a prolonged amount of time, you may need medical help to overcome the depression. How long someone remains in this stage varies. Use your best judgment.

5. Reconciliation and hope- As you accept the loss you can slowly begin to gain balance in your life. Your depression will lift and you can begin to look to the future. You begin to make new plans. You realize you can move on and live and you do.
Whenever I find myself struggling I just remind myself of something my mother used to tell me, “this too shall pass.”

Happy Valentine's Day!

Perhaps one of the greatest gifts we can give this Valentine's day is to just Love one Another.

Keeping your Kids Safe on Halloween

If you plan on having your children go Trick-or-Treating then there are a few things you should do to keep your kids safe on Halloween.

• Have children carry a flashlight so they can see in the dark
  
• Put reflective clothing or a glow stick on your child so people can see them.
  
• Remind them to walk and not run. Costumes can sometimes hinder their ability to move and running will only cause more problems.
  
• Remind them to stay on sidewalks.
  
• Have them only approach houses that are lit.
  
• Know where child predators and sex offenders live by looking it up online and avoid those areas.
  
• Take your child instead of having them go alone.
  
• Don't let them eat candy until after you have inspected it.
  
• Remove any candy that is not age appropriate like jaw breakers for young children.
  
• Instruct them not to eat any candy that is not wrapped.
  

If you are expecting Trick-or-Treaters make sure your yard, driveway, and sidewalk are free from things that kids can trip or get injured on in all of the excitement. Have your porch light on. Place your pets in a quiet location (see previous post for what to do with your pets). Turn your porch light out to signal you are out of candy or not serving candy.

I hope you have a safe and happy Halloween!

What Matters Most

Some days I feel like I spend more time looking at my computer screen than I do my own kids. How sad. It's time for me and you to fill our lives with what matters most and "never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved".

Balancing Work and Family Life

It has been a little crazy around here since school started and I'm trying to balance everything out. So after a week my life isn't completely balanced out yet but it is significantly better. For some of you, work might be paid work and for others, work is housework. No matter what your work is, you need to have balance so you can have a happier and healthier you.

First you need to set a goal. What is your ultimate goal for you? Is it to have a happy/healthy family? Is it to see your kids grow into successful adults? Is it to have a home that others will feel welcome in? As you make decisions think about your goal and ask yourself how your decision will impact your ultimate goal.

Next, you need to determine what your values are. A value is defined by relative worth, merit, or importance. Sometimes our values can conflict with each other. For example, you might value getting to work early but you also value seeing your child off to school. When you are faced with conflicting values, look at your goal and choose which value is more important and act accordingly.

Setting priorities and managing time are two of the most important aspects of achieving a balanced life. Determine what you need to accomplish and when and write it down. Keep organized. My biggest problem is prioritizing. I spend a lot of time working on things that don't move me closer to my end goal. You may have daily priorities, weekly priorities, monthly priorities, and yearly priorities. Sometimes you can combine a couple of priorities and manage time better. Two of my priorities are spend individual time with my children and fold laundry. I can accomplish both of these by having a child work with me to fold the laundry. My child learns a skill and we have time to communicate with each other. On occasion, I have conflicting priorities. I like to have my kitchen cleaned before I leave the house but some mornings I haven't got it done and I need to leave to Yoga class, another priority of mine. When this happens I have to look at my overall day and determine which priority will benefit me most for the day.

The last thing to remember is to just let go. We can't be supermom/dad all of the time. The last couple of weeks I've realized I was trying to do too much at once and needed to let go of something. I chose not to post new blog posts and instead used the time to catch up on some much needed housework. If you are a mother you know guilt. Don't feel guilty for letting something go to achieve more balance. It is a waste of energy and time.

When, not if, you find your life out of balance, take a step back, look at your overall goal, reassess things, and make adjustments. The sooner you do so the better off life will be for you and your family.

Keeping the Romance Alive

I think keeping the romance alive is something every couple struggles with at one point or another in their relationship. There comes a point where we just go through the routine of life, get up, go to work, take care of children, do the things around the house, and go to bed just to start it all over again. We get so caught up in our own lives and needs that we forget about our partners. If you find that you are at a point where you are not getting the romance you need stop and ask yourself if you are giving the romance your partner needs. Romance is reciprocal, you get what you give. When you get to a "dull" point try doing this:

Make a list of 10 things that your partner can do to show he/she loves you. Have your partner make a list too, of the things you can do for him/her. You will find that men and women feel loved in different ways. Men tend to feel love with physical expressions like a kiss, or embrace. Women tend to feel love by words like actually saying "I love you" and by actions like notes or a phone call.

Share your lists with each other and discuss why you put what you put on your list.
Make it a point everyday to pick at least one thing from your partner's list and fulfill it. Do not repeat the same thing more than once a week.

I promise you that as you do something every day for your spouse that shows them your love, you will receive the same and the romance in your life will increase. I have experienced it in my own relationship as well as seen it in those around me.

What are some of the ways you and your partner keep the romance alive?

Texting While Driving

It wasn't too long ago when I was driving to a store and received a text from someone. I retrieved it and then began to text a response when it dawned on me that I'm doing exactly what I gave my niece a hard time for doing. How easy it was to just start texting back. I immediately put my phone down and paid attention to my driving. Texting while driving is becoming more prevalent and so are the accidents caused by texting while driving. Many cities are now are trying to implement laws banning cell phone use/texting in cars. The following clip is what happened when a VIA bus driver in San Antonio, Texas decided to text while driving.