It is recommended that you visit a health care professional for an annual well woman exam. It has been almost 2 years since my last visit and I decided I couldn't put it off any longer so today, I made a visit to my OB/GYN. I hate going to these exams but not for the reason you might think. Sure, having my doctor probe in the nether regions is a little uncomfortable but that is not why I dread going. I hate going for the fact that I have to stand on a scale and have my weight recorded.
I don't know a single person who is happy with their weight. I know people who are thin who wish they were bigger and people who are thin and think they are fat. I'm not either one of those. I'm overweight and I hate being overweight. In fact, I think I'm only a pound or two away from the weight I was when I delivered baby #4 almost 2 years ago. The thing is, I don't think of myself as being overweight until I have to be accountable for my weight, see pictures of myself, go clothes shopping or put on a bathing suit. I still feel like I'm a much smaller person. I have a pretty good self esteem. However, I'm reminded I'm not as small as I feel when I try to squeeze through a tight space that I'm sure I can get through only to realize half way through that I'm stuck. Or, when I walk by one of my kids and the next thing I know the junk in the trunk has knocked them over and I had no idea I was that close to them. I know I'm overweight but I guess I just ignore it. I know my weight. My husband knows my weight. A few really close friends know my weight. For some reason though, having a nurse know my weight and the doctor know my weight is much worse. Maybe it is because it is recorded on my medical record. It makes it official....I'm overweight.
So, today I show up for my exam. I went back so they could take my vitals. Then came the moment of reckoning. She pointed towards the scale and asked me to get on. I look at where she was pointing and it looked like a cattle scale to me. Great. Just perfect. I'm too big for the regular scale. I laughed out loud to myself and made a comment about it looking like a cattle scale as I stepped on. The nurse chuckled a little bit and said "I know it is big but is a scale that our wheel chair patients can use." I knew what type of scale it really was but after 2 seconds I saw the numbers. The numbers themselves weren't very big, maybe 3/4 of an inch but they might as well have been 6 inches big and blinking bright red because that is how it felt when she wrote it down.
The awkward moment was over quicker than it has taken me to write this moment down. I survived. I'm in the process of changing some bad eating habits and getting in an exercise routine but the progress isn't as fast as I would like. I don't loose weight easily. In recording my medical history she asked about a thyroid disorder. I hesitated in answering because at one point in my mothers life she was diagnosed with a thyroid problem only to have it discovered by another DR. that she was diagnosed wrong. We decided to check it out just to rule out the possibility. I don't think I have one but secretly I kind of wish I do because then my weight isn't entirely my fault. I think my birth control is to blame for some of the problem, genetics is to blame for some too, but the majority of the problem is on me and my love of all things baked. I haven't met a brownie, cookie, or bread I didn't like.
I reach out to you my readers....few in number but strong in knowledge and experience....what things have worked well for you in the battle of the bulge and what things should I avoid. Is there a specific diet plan? A specific exercise? I would love your healthy recipes. It is time to look as thin as I feel.